The diagnosis of Alzheimer’s is one that will undoubtedly affect the whole family.  This includes children.  Because Alzheimer’s doesn’t necessarily have visual symptoms, young children can be easily confused when it comes to understanding the disease.  Add to that, the fact that a person with Alzheimer’s may act completely different from one day to the next can also be confusing and even frightening to a child.  The first time a grandparent forget a grandchild’s name or doesn’t recognize them can/will be traumatic.  Informing the child ahead of time will help alleviate the pressure of that and other “awkward” moments.

Obviously, the age of the child will be a big factor in how and how much information you give them.  Explaining that the disease affects the memory is straightforward and can usually be understood by even young children.  It is also important to let the child know that Alzheimer’s disease isn’t contagious and that the person does not have “germs”.  Older children and teenagers will be able to better understand the disease as well as the situations that may occur because of it.  It will be hard for everyone, regardless of age, during some point of the disease’s progression.  Reminding the child that “Grandpa still loves you” may be necessary to ease a child’s fears and concerns as behaviors and memory begin to change.  It may become tempting to shield children from contact altogether as the disease progresses, but this should be avoided unless the person with Alzheimer’s becomes agitated around the child.  For the most part, studies show that the presence of children usually has a calming effect on those with dementia.  Even if the person no longer recognizes the child, they are drawn to them and their activities.  It is common that even though the person has forgotten recent memories, they still have those from the past.  This means they remember not only raising their own children, but memories of their own childhood.    Depending on how advanced the disease is, engaging the children and the person with Alzheimer’s in an activity together can be fun and fulfilling for both:

Sorting through keepsakes (Such as a family photo or jewelry box)

Simple recipes (Such as slice and bake cookies or making sandwiches together)

Small household tasks (Such as sweeping or organizing a shelf)

Most children love the idea of “helping” out and feel that they are contributing as a family member and the person with Alzheimer’s can enjoy both past memories and the company of a child.  It is important to keep in mind, that at some point, perhaps even early on, it would be unsafe to leave the person with Alzheimer’s alone with a child.  This is not to say that harm would come to either, but the unexpected turns in cognitive awareness may cause issues.  A change in behavior could scare a child, who may not know how to react or recover.   It can be difficult for full grown adults to understand and cope with some of the behaviors associated with Alzheimer’s and impossible for someone younger.

As a family, communicating with and supporting one another can make a huge difference in the dynamics of caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s. Even if you are not directly caring for the individual on a daily basis, being aware of changes and behaviors will make visits and decisions much easier for you and everyone else. And don’t forget to include the children…they are usually smarter than the credit given them.